Not all Farts are the Same
Most farts contain a combination of Nitrogen, Hydrogen, Carbon-Dioxide, Oxygen, and Methane. Methane, interestingly enough, only accounts for up to 10% of the typical fart! Also, if your stomach gets full of ingested air, your fart will be mostly air.
But, and we all know this, what you eat and are digesting plays a huge role in what gasses are contained in your fart. There are countless combinations! Even more astounding, is the fact that we all have different body chemistries that process food in their own ways. This means that your perfect fart combination is yours and yours alone! Others may be similar, but your fart production is like the beautiful snowflake, different and unique from all the rest!
Lighting Farts on Fire
Because all farts are different, some will be more apt to ignite than others. Hydrogen and Methane are the two combustible gasses in your farts. Due to the difference in body types and the foods we eat, each fart will have its own chemical make-up. This will make some more flammable than others, and some farts won’t light at all. In fact, only about 50% of the population have farts that will light!
Also, you can tell what gasses are in your fart by the colors of the lit fart. Methane is the gas that burns blue, hence the nickname, ‘Blue Dart’. If your lit fart burns yellow or orange, it’s the hydrogen you see burning and not the methane.
The word ‘fart’, is one of the older words in the English language. This is probably because farts were around before knives, wheels, and most other things you can think of. Farts can also be used in so many wonderful ways. Whether they are embarrassing, part of a prank, or let loose to make a statement, they leave their mark on anyone within the vicinity. Loud or silent, they are a piece of human communication.
‘Fart’ has come to us through many different languages and has gone through an evolutionary process. Some of the older versions from different languages being: perdomai, pedere, pardati, perd, and with the p sound changing to an f sound in certain languages, furzen. No matter how they said it though, it all meant the same thing, ass gas!
Farts have also been used throughout history in comical, endearing, and usually disrespectful ways. Many writers, including Dante and Jonathan Swift, have used farts in their prose to add humor or to personify different characters. Farts have been widely used in political satire and cartoons to show how the people really feel about the folks in charge. Also, calling your grandpa an old fart is truly an act of love. He’d probably call himself the same thing!
Welcome to the Farty Party
There are over 7 billion people on this planet, and all of us have an average fart production rate of 10-20 farts per day. (These numbers leave out all the other fart producing life forms on Earth) That roughly equates to between 70,000,000,000 and 140,000,000,000 farts going off per day worldwide! Luckily for us, 99% of the fart doesn’t smell! It’s that little sulfurous 1% that gets us rolling down the car windows or vacating the living room!
Also, according to recent studies, cows emit between 66 and 132 gallons of farts per day! It’s that much for every cow! Their farts are causing all sorts of problems with the ozone and global warming! I mean, if we’re all gonna’ die, this would be the ultimate fart prank! Maybe God does have a sense of humor!
Anyway, farts are pretty interesting. I know I’ve left out all sorts of fun facts and interesting anecdotes, but there’s only so much fart stuff a person can write about in a day before they run out of gas. Maybe after refueling, you’ll see Farts 102!